Brambleberry: The Interview Issue. #1: Greg Chalson

GREG CHALSON

Q :    Tell me the best three movies or albums of the last year?

A: Oh, okay…  I’d have to think a while back.  I pass.
Q: Tell us a story about when your dad was in the Merchant Marines.

A: He was second mate on a ship and apparently the officers and the crewmen had separate laundry rooms.  One of the crewmen thought it would be funny if they played a prank on the officers and he shit, he took a shit in one of the dryers in the officers’ laundry room.

They had a German captain who was very strict, very severe, and he gathered all the crewmen in the laundry room and said “I vant to know who put the shit in the dryer”.  No one spoke up.  “AGAIN.  I vant to know who put the shit in the dryer.”  And no one said anything, and the captain said “Fine.  We have ways of making you talk.”

So with all the crewmen standing there in this little room he just turned on the dryer with the shit in it, and the shit started to heat up until the stench was overwhelming and  the crew was vomiting left and right and someone finally stepped forward and confessed.  His punishment was he had to clean the dryer and that was the end of it.

Q:   How do you get the ideas for your rap verses?

A: I believe one has to rap about what one knows so the answer is I get them from you guys, you know, friends and families.

Q:   What is something you would not do, even if Nick Cave asked you to?

A: Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….

Yeah that’s a good one…

I guess, I wouldn’t do… I wouldn’t do what Nick Cave asked me to do.

Q: Even if he said…

A: I wouldn’t do.. what he asked me to do, even if he asked me to do that.

Q:  What is a question you always wanted to ask Emily McWilliams?

A: Who is Conan O’ Brien, and why is she so sad?

Q:  What’s next for Greg Chalson?

A: What’s next?  Um, I don’t know.  I’m thinking I have to be a little more entrepreneurial.  I want to start a Greg brand of something.  Clothing or colognes.  Eau de Greg.  How many people have you interviewed?

Q: Just you.  Just one.  You’re the first one.  Have you thought of any movies or albums?

A: No.  I need… if I had a list.  I honestly can’t.  I really don’t.

That’s embarrassing.

Q: What’s a question that if I had asked you it, you would have refused to answer it, on the grounds of you don’t want anyone to know?

A: Anything that happened between January and August of last year.  I was in a really bad place.  Anything about the breakup or after the fact.  No comment.