Getting Drunk in the Kitchen

Today in the gun-totin’ Montana backcountry we are making Guiness Beef Stew! I am very excited about this. We will find out:

1) Whether Guiness beef stew can make you drunk
2) Whether drinking while making Guiness beef stew can make you drunk

This is a delicate procedure. To facilitate the experiment, I have here:

1 pint of Guiness (partially drunken)
3 large yellow onions
4 russet gold potatoes
A bag of baby carrots (soon to be chopped)
1 large bottle of Vodka
2 lbs stewing beef
flour
salt
fresh thyme

Also, we have a very lovely 6qt Rival Red Slow Cooker. It’s programmable!

OK, I seared all the beef in a pan and chopped up everything else that I could possibly chop. They say to put the beef into a bag of flour and shake it up and THEN sear it, but I think that’s crazy. When I did that the first time I ended up with beef and flour all over the kitchen. Not this time! I just piled all the vegetables and seared beef into the slow cooker, and put some flour on top for good measure. I added a shot of vodka to myself. Then I poured what was left of the Guiness into the stew, stirred it all up and turned it on HIGH.

You’re supposed to cook it on LOW, but since it is already 1PM and the stew is supposed to cook for 8 hours, I am just going to cook it for a half hour on HIGH instead of LOW! Maybe it’ll be done early! Or maybe it’ll all burn up into a shriveled crisp. Stay tuned!!!

***Update: After 1 hour, neither the stew nor myself seem noticeably changed. I leave the stew on HIGH and make a vodka tonic.

***Update: After 2 hours, one of us is starting to smell pretty good!